10 reasons why marriages struggle (and how to fix them)
Marriage isn’t a walk in the park. It’s a lifetime journey that takes love, patience, and a good dose of effort from both partners. Some days it feels easy and light, and on others, it can feel like you’re climbing uphill with a heavy backpack. The truth is, no marriage is perfect. But many of the problems that cause marriages to fall apart are actually fixable… if both partners are willing to try.
Let’s talk about ten common reasons why marriages fail and, more importantly, how you can turn things around.
1. Lack of Communication
This one tops the list for a reason. When communication breaks down, everything else starts to crumble. Maybe you’ve both stopped sharing your feelings, or maybe when you do talk, it turns into an argument instead of a conversation. Over time, silence and misunderstanding build a wall between you.
Try this: Make time every day, even if it’s ten minutes, just to talk. Not about chores or the kids, but about you two. Your feelings, your worries. And if it feels too hard to start, a marriage counselor can help you both find your voices again.
2. Infidelity — Physical or Emotional
There’s no pain quite like betrayal. Whether it’s physical or emotional, infidelity shakes the very foundation of trust. Healing takes time, effort, and a lot of honesty.
Try this: If both of you want to rebuild, don’t do it alone. A counselor can guide you through the process of forgiveness and help you rebuild what was broken, one layer at a time.
3. Financial Stress
Money arguments are so common… and so draining. Maybe one of you spends more freely while the other saves every cent. Or maybe the financial pressure itself is just too much.
Try this: Talk openly about money. Create a realistic budget together and agree on your priorities. If things still feel overwhelming, a financial planner can help. Remember, you’re on the same team, not opponents.
4. Different Life Goals
Sometimes, couples grow in different directions. One of you might dream of moving abroad while the other wants to stay close to family. Or maybe one is ready for kids and the other isn’t.
Try this: Don’t wait until resentment sets in. Be honest early on, and when differences appear later, try to find middle ground. Compromise doesn’t mean losing. It means choosing the relationship over ego.
5. Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy isn’t only about the physical connection — it’s about feeling emotionally close. When life gets busy, kids come along, or stress builds up, that spark can fade without you even noticing.
Try this: Be intentional. Small gestures (like a hug, a compliment, holding hands) go a long way. Rebuild emotional intimacy first, and physical closeness often follows naturally.
6. Different Values
Sometimes it’s religion (or levels of spirituality), sometimes it’s culture, sometimes it’s just personality. When your core values don’t align, conflict tends to follow.
Try this: Respect the differences. Focus on what does unite you. Understanding your spouse’s values doesn’t mean you have to share them, but it helps you love them more sincerely.
7. Lack of Trust
Without trust, love becomes exhausting. Constant suspicion or broken promises create distance and insecurity.
Try this: Be transparent about your whereabouts, your feelings, your struggles. Trust isn’t rebuilt overnight, but it can grow again through consistency and honesty.
8. Feeling Unsupported
Marriage is meant to feel like a partnership, not a competition. When one partner feels unseen or unappreciated, loneliness creeps in – even when you’re sharing a home.
Try this: Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader. Celebrate their wins, support their ambitions, and remind them you’re in their corner. Sometimes, your encouragement is all they need to keep going.
9. Different Communication Styles
Some people talk to think, others think before they talk. Some like to discuss everything immediately; others need space first. When those styles clash, it can cause tension.
Try this: Learn how your spouse communicates best and meet them halfway. If your husband needs time to process before talking, give it to him. If your wife feels anxious in silence, reassure her. Understanding each other’s rhythms makes communication flow so much easier.
10. Lack of Quality Time
When life gets busy, love often takes a backseat. Between work, kids, and responsibilities, couples sometimes forget to be a couple. Days turn into months, and before you know it, you’re living like polite roommates.
Try this: Prioritise “us time.” Even a simple walk together after Fajr or making tea and chatting before bed can help you reconnect. It’s not about how long you spend together. It’s about being present.
Women often mature emotionally faster than men. By the time a woman reaches her 40s, she’s usually more sure of who she is. She is confident, grounded, and secure in her own skin. But that’s also when she starts craving a deeper emotional connection. If her husband hasn’t evolved alongside her, she may start to feel unseen or misunderstood.
The good news? It’s never too late to grow together. Marriage is about learning… constantly learning. It’s about seeing the other person not as who they were at the start, but who they’re becoming now.
So if you’re reading this and thinking, “We’ve drifted apart,” take heart. You can rebuild, rekindle, and reconnect. With dua, effort, and sincerity, hearts that once loved deeply can always find their way back.
Allah SWT is the greatest Changer of Hearts (Muqallibul Quloob) and the greatest Fixer (Al Jabbar). So don’t despair in the mercy of Allah SWT.
That’s all from me for now. Stay tuned for more… and remember: ‘Just Dua It.’
Waheeda, a.k.a Waydi
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P.P.S. My book, Kismet – For roses to blossom is available locally and on Kindle Unlimited.
