Teaching Men and Women to Be Better Mahrams
A while back, I planned a series of posts about mahram relationships. The idea came from my deep belief that living according to the Islamic way of life offers real solutions to many of the problems we see in society today.
Think about it: so many of the debates around gender roles, the struggles Western women have faced just to gain basic rights like inheritance, or even the emotional imbalance we see in homes where mothers are overburdened – these are all areas where Islam has already given us guidance and a solution. A home where a mother is valued and cared for naturally becomes a home with more grounded, emotionally secure children. Even divorcees and widows will be more respected and seen less as a burden in society. And so, through this series, I hope to explore how submitting to these divine principles can bring harmony back into our families and communities, in sha Allah.
Teaching Men and Women to Be Better Mahrams
When we hear the word mahram, most of us immediately think, Oh, that’s someone I can’t marry. And that’s pretty much where the thought ends, right? As women, we rarely pause to think about the value a mahram adds to our lives, or what that relationship is meant to bring us emotionally and spiritually.
For young men, it’s often the same, but from a different angle. They grow up learning that a mahram is a woman they can’t marry, and that they’re supposed to protect her. But beyond that? There isn’t always much conversation about what that protection really means or what kind of emotional or spiritual value they can add to the women in their lives.
And that’s the gap I want to talk about today.
Because when we reduce something as beautiful and profound as a mahram relationship to just a legal boundary, we miss out on so much of its wisdom.
More Than Just Rules and Restrictions
Islam isn’t just about rules. It’s about purpose and balance. The role of a mahram was never meant to be a cold, distant formality. It’s meant to bring warmth, security, and dignity to our relationships.
When a man fulfills his role as a mahram, he’s not just “protecting” the women in his life. He’s giving them a sense of safety, stability, and comfort. And when a woman supports and respects her mahram, she’s helping him grow into that role with confidence and sincerity.
It’s a two-way relationship built on trust, empathy, and love.
So How Do We Teach Men and Women to Be Better Mahrams?
Let’s start with the simplest truth: it begins at home.
Children learn what it means to be a mahram long before they even understand the term. A son who watches his father treat his mother with gentleness learns that strength isn’t about control – it’s about care. A daughter who sees her brother helping, protecting, and respecting her learns that men can be a source of safety and kindness, not fear or frustration.
That’s where it starts. But here’s how we can go deeper:
1. Talk About It More
We don’t talk about mahram relationships enough. Not in our homes, not in our schools, and not even in our masajid. And yet, they shape so much of our family dynamics.
So, let’s start those conversations. Talk to your sons about what it means to be a mahram…. Not just that it’s a title, but that it’s a responsibility. Talk to your daughters about valuing their mahrams, about what healthy support and respect look like.
2. Teach Emotional Awareness
Being a good mahram isn’t only about being physically protective. It’s about being emotionally present. A man who notices when his mother, sister, or wife is struggling emotionally is fulfilling his duty just as much as when he ensures her safety while travelling.
Likewise, a woman who shows appreciation, makes dua for her mahram, and helps him be a better version of himself is strengthening that bond beautifully.
3. Learn the Fiqh, but Go Beyond It
Yes, it’s important to understand the rulings around mahram relationships. Who counts as a mahram, what the travel rules are, and the limits of interaction. These are all crucial to know.
But let’s not stop there. The spirit behind those rules is just as important. Allah SWT didn’t create these guidelines to restrict us but to honour us – to make our relationships and interactions safer, purer, and more meaningful.
4. Respect Is a Two-Way Street
While men often carry the visible responsibility of being protectors, women also have a role in making that relationship flourish. It’s about mutual respect.
Encourage the men in your life when they do right. Support them when they take their responsibilities seriously. And in turn, men should show appreciation for the women who respect their boundaries and value their care.
5. Face Modern Challenges with Wisdom
Let’s be real. Modern life complicates everything. The digital world blurs boundaries, independence is often mistaken for detachment, and traditional roles are constantly questioned.
But that’s exactly why the concept of mahram is so powerful. It grounds us. It reminds us that there are sacred bonds meant to protect our hearts and preserve our dignity.
Teaching young people about mahram responsibilities in today’s context means helping them understand how to carry that respect and protection into all spaces. Yes, even online.
The Beauty of Balance
A healthy mahram relationship is one of balance. It’s not about control, nor is it about indifference. It’s about care without restriction, love without dominance, and responsibility without resentment.
When both men and women understand their roles through that lens, the home becomes a place of peace. Families become stronger. And society, slowly but surely, begins to heal.
Why It Matters
When we teach men and women to be better mahrams, we’re not just strengthening individuals; we’re fortifying families. We’re creating environments where women feel safe and valued, and where men feel purposeful and respected.
That’s the kind of balance Islam calls us to. And when we live by it, we’ll start to see the beauty of Allah SWT’s design in our daily lives.
That’s all from me for now. Stay tuned for more… and remember: ‘Just Dua It.’
Waheeda, a.k.a Waydi
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P.P.S. My book, Kismet – For roses to blossom is available locally and on Kindle Unlimited.
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